Boys Will Be Boys
“Boys will be boys” he muttered, trying to justify his son's actions to himself. Her skirt was too short, she left her drink out, what did you expect from him? What was he meant to do?
Boys are often not held accountable for their actions. Their problematic behavior is swept under the rug, discarded on the sole basis that they are boys. This belief encourages gender stereotypes; on both ends. It encourages boys to follow the stereotypes that are pushed upon them, which fuels toxic masculinity and misogyny. The direct effects of toxic masculinity and misogyny being fostered in boys are the ideas of being emotionless and making reckless decisions in attempts to study fragilely built masculinity. These ideas also promote gender stereotypes in women, as they show girls that boys are allowed to make these reckless and sometimes life altering decisions because they are boys and that's what boys do, the statement boys will be boys teaches girls to take it. From a young age it shows girls that boys are not responsible for their actions, and furthers the societal construct that is blaming women for mens actions.
Misogyny is something that is born in men because they are insecure in their own masculinity. The classic idea of what a man should be is ingrained in boys through statements like boys will be boys, which encourages boys to push classically feminine ideals on women. Misogyny isn't women hating, it's being afraid of women who are not the classic idea of what a woman should be, because it scares men to see someone breaking gender stereotypes. Because for their whole lives men are taught that breaking stereotypes makes them weak or undesirable or not real men.
This is a type of systematic sexism that is often overlooked, the toxic ideals of what a man is supposed to be is detrimental to men's mental health. Not being held accountable for their own actions can poison a man's sense of reality, because it teaches them that reckless behavior and poor decisions are good, are right, and worst of all make them more of a man. And that's all our society teaches men to desire masculinity. But our society builts it in such a destructive way, that men can never BE what society wants them to be and so the cycle repeats, and as some would say, “boys keep being boys.”
To close I would like to ask my readers to remember that the next time you think to haphazardly explain a boy's actions by saying “Boys will be boys” dont, because no, boys will not be boys, boys will be held accountable for their actions, regardless of their gender.
